When God blessed us with Emma he took us on a journey we never expected to be on.
It is a journey that we do not fully understand and probably will not fully understand...
until HE allows us to understand.
So many parenting decisions that we make for the other children do not apply or are not the correct ones in regards to Emma.
At times I have felt lost in this journey.
Going from Dr to Dr...
each one sends us on our merry way-
without any answers or any direction.
Today we were at the allergist.
Emma often scratches herself until she bleeds.
Her torso is badly scared and when the Dr saw her back he gasped.
He then chose to do the allergy testing on her arms. It only showed a minor allergy to dust. Since Emma mainly scratches at night we will cover her mattress and pillow with special covers.
It still does not explain the severity of her itching...
I had thought that we were going to get concrete answers at the allergist and we would then have a plan to help Emma stop scratching and hopefully allow her body to heal.
My heart sinks when I bathe her and see all the damage done to her beautiful body.
Next is the dermatologist...
I am not feeling hopeful.
I no longer think that a Dr will have a light bulb moment and give me insight into Emma's situation. Or that Emma will be healed, or even helped.
I think that this is not a medical journey.
I think that it is a God journey. God has made us Emma's parents for a reason. I think it is a journey he wants to take us on.
Sometime I fight the "journey"- it requires so much patience, so little progress and so many unanswered questions.
Even when I try to "fix" the situation or think I have found the answer.
It doesn't end up that way.
I believe that Emma is the ultimate "hurt child" and then toss in a very low IQ and it becomes a journey no Dr has ever been on.
BUT
There is ONE that can help.
It's God...
He can give me the patience that I need, the answered prayers, the deep love that I need to be on this journey.
Don't misunderstand me- I do love Emma. BUT this journey takes more than my love... it takes love so deep that is beyond me.
I need to rest in HIS peace.
One of the miracles of adoption has been the progress the children have made once they are home.
Progress for Emma has been slow...very, very slow but it also tells me I need to use a different scale for Emma and celebrate the little things.
When Emma stopped doing Karate- some commented on how sad they were for her.
Do not be sad for Emma because Karate means nothing to her, no activity means that much to her.
BUT what really means a lot to her is
LOVE
A SMILING MOMMY
A HUG
KIND WORDS
ENCOURAGEMENT
BEING HELPFUL
BEING VALUED
PRAYER
running errands with her DADDY
SUCCESS at her level
AND MORE LOVE
Do you see how happy she is in the pictures I post. That is where she is happiest and most comfortable- at home with her family! I am thankful that she has found this within our ever growing family. I bet Emma has never been loved by so many people in her whole life.
The circle is growing sweet girl! And although it is hard for her at first when a new member joins our family, she adjusts quickly.
God is causing me to be even more dependent on HIM.
I'm thinking that's the way HE wants it!
And it is challenging for this "let me take things into my own hands" kinds girl!
He then chose to do the allergy testing on her arms. It only showed a minor allergy to dust. Since Emma mainly scratches at night we will cover her mattress and pillow with special covers.
It still does not explain the severity of her itching...
I had thought that we were going to get concrete answers at the allergist and we would then have a plan to help Emma stop scratching and hopefully allow her body to heal.
My heart sinks when I bathe her and see all the damage done to her beautiful body.
Next is the dermatologist...
I am not feeling hopeful.
I no longer think that a Dr will have a light bulb moment and give me insight into Emma's situation. Or that Emma will be healed, or even helped.
I think that this is not a medical journey.
I think that it is a God journey. God has made us Emma's parents for a reason. I think it is a journey he wants to take us on.
Sometime I fight the "journey"- it requires so much patience, so little progress and so many unanswered questions.
Even when I try to "fix" the situation or think I have found the answer.
It doesn't end up that way.
I believe that Emma is the ultimate "hurt child" and then toss in a very low IQ and it becomes a journey no Dr has ever been on.
BUT
There is ONE that can help.
It's God...
He can give me the patience that I need, the answered prayers, the deep love that I need to be on this journey.
Don't misunderstand me- I do love Emma. BUT this journey takes more than my love... it takes love so deep that is beyond me.
I need to rest in HIS peace.
One of the miracles of adoption has been the progress the children have made once they are home.
Progress for Emma has been slow...very, very slow but it also tells me I need to use a different scale for Emma and celebrate the little things.
When Emma stopped doing Karate- some commented on how sad they were for her.
Do not be sad for Emma because Karate means nothing to her, no activity means that much to her.
BUT what really means a lot to her is
LOVE
A SMILING MOMMY
A HUG
KIND WORDS
ENCOURAGEMENT
BEING HELPFUL
BEING VALUED
PRAYER
running errands with her DADDY
SUCCESS at her level
AND MORE LOVE
Do you see how happy she is in the pictures I post. That is where she is happiest and most comfortable- at home with her family! I am thankful that she has found this within our ever growing family. I bet Emma has never been loved by so many people in her whole life.
The circle is growing sweet girl! And although it is hard for her at first when a new member joins our family, she adjusts quickly.
God is causing me to be even more dependent on HIM.
I'm thinking that's the way HE wants it!
And it is challenging for this "let me take things into my own hands" kinds girl!
