Facing my little fear...

For some reason I have been thinking

"I don't know if I can do this"?

Where have these thoughts come from?

I don't know?

How did I get this seed of doubt and how did I allow it to be planted...

How could I trust God with so much and then decide I can't trust Him with this...

How foolish of me.

He has already moved mountain for us and preformed miracles right in front of our eyes.

 Even more so since we have been adopting His children.

Of course, He can do this...

How could I have doubted him?

In fact-

 He can do this gloriously!

And if HE can do this 

than I can do this

and Hubby can do this.

Some may understand my fear.

Some have already conquered this and successfully completed the task.
Please comment and give me some hints on how to do it!
I am planning to pray my way through every day and to focus on school, in hopes that we can get ahead and have a few days off with our new boys!
I even mentioned Saturday school to the children... it wasn't a big hit so we will see ;-)???

It's kind of silly for me to be fearful of the event ahead.

Today I have been praying over it and it dawned on me-

 don't be afraid

you can do this

I will not leave you

just give it all to ME.

And I believe HIM.

So now I am focusing on the excitement and not allowing fear to enter in.

Our Consulate Appointment in on Dec 4th!

Hubby and Mark are preparing to leave to get our two boys!

We cannot wait to get them home!

I wish I could go and be there to meet them and to have this experience- the first memories with our two new boys!
I imagine myself meeting them on bended knee but I guess that will have to happen at our local airport!

I know that I am called to be home with the other children.
The last journey was hard on them.
They missed their Momma and daddy and their schedule.
We have had too many recent adoptions to for me to leave them AGAIN...
I am happy to be staying with them BUT I want to be two places at once...

Hubby and I have never been apart for soooo long.

Wimpy,

I know!

So many families go through so much more...

How can I be fearful of this?

We have almost completed our packing.
And things are just about ready...
With our other adoptions we would have been completely ready but things have been busy and this year has been eventful.

On the home front we have purchased an extra refrig/ freezer for extra milk and meals.
Which will arrive a few days after they leave for China.

We need to stock up on a few things!

I can't run to the store everyday like hubby does for us.
The grocery store is very close to his office!

Our home is not as close to the grocery store(or any store) as we used to be.

We are trying to get our home to a point where we are settled and have the things we will need during the travel time.

AND

we are trying to figure out the electronics end so somehow we can talk and Skype with each other.
(Please pray that this works out!)

We do not have high speed internet here so I may need to go to hubby's office to Skype?

I guess that's country liven for ya!

The boys bunks are here and their room is looking good!!

 Ben will sleep on the lower red bunk under Sam!
He was born with Spina Bifida and we need to see how he is doing before placing him on a top bunk.

Joseph will be above Luke.
From the videos we have seen climbing up there should be no problem for him.
Plus he may be a bit active so the corner spot is perfect!
3 other little boys will be able to say- "get back in bed" or "Mom, Joey is climbing out of bed"!
Reporting works for our family!
(and it's not technically tattling!)

 We have the curtains are on the window now but we still need to hang pictures.
This will happen once they are all home!

The closet system is in and we are starting to put their clothes away!

The bathroom is smaller but it will work great for our boys!

When I showed the rooms to one of the older children... his response was...
Well, you're not going to win any decoration awards but considering you will have 13 children, 
it's looking good!
Thanks honey...
That was the first time I realized that... the rooms were... kinda full 
; - )
Truthfully, I thought I was on my way to a decorating award!

This is the big girls room! 
We still need to hang pics and do finishing touches... once the hubby is back home!
We also need to organize the big girls clothes!
They have been wonderful and have worked out of bags and suitcases!

Putting bunks in front of windows is not what I would normally do BUT Hey, it's working!
(the green wall is NOT that bright... Ben Moore HC 113 Guilford green- love the color!)

And the little girls room!
Once again, it's in need of a few finishing touches!

We are trying to encourage hubby and big bro Mark to take lots of pictures- they are not usually the photographers of the family, so that will be challenging for them. I hope to have this time documented through pictures (as best as they can).

I've requested 10 pics per day! Hopin' they deliver!

At home-

we are trying to take as much as possible off the calendar so things go well.

No extra Dr appts or extra activities.

I'm going to embrace this moment and use it to grow and to lean on HIM.

Your prayers are welcomed for those in China and for the rest of us at home!

I will be sharing their journey with you!

We were unable to Skype with Ben.
It is already in the regret category...
It is just this season of our lives that made it impossible for us.
I think it is an amazing opportunity and would have done it in a heartbeat if we could've...

I hope this will be offered to more families in the future!

Soon there will be two less!

Gotcha Days are November 18th for Ben and the 25th for Joseph!

Praising GOD!