Look at the sad little girl on the right. One of her friends now has a family- it is the little boy in the orange patterned shirt who is being carried by the ayi. Her good friend is in the orange shirt tank top looking on. This little boys dreams have not been fulfilled. He is still at the orphanage. I do not know if he is even up for adoption. Please God- please help us give these children homes.
One of the families that adopted from Sarah's orphanage had this picture. She sent it to me and asked of it was our daughter in the background. Of course I was thrilled to see this picture. Anything from Sarah's past means so much to us but at the same time look at our little girls face. It breaks my heart, such a sad look.When she saw the picture she said she was very said in it. She said she wanted a mom and a dad. I think it is so hard on the children when their friends leave. Orphanage life is not easy, all the children become like siblings. Then they come and go. The older children care for the younger children.
Sarah is so capable- it amazes me. I was told to allow her to be a child and do some of the things even though she can do them- such as make her bed, fix her hair, etc. We have decided to do things for her that she cannot do and teach her but we do allow her to do the things that she can do- I don't want to take away her strengths, when there are so many other ways to show love and care for our child. Plus, if I teach her that I will make her bed soon she will be an adolescents- if you've ever had teenagers you know at that point they are NOT going to start making there bed. Thats when they forget everything you have ever taught them! (We make her bed once a week as a special treat and she does it 6 times a week)
At the same time there were so many thing she didn't understand that we have had work with her on. She now understands safety rules and why we have them. The concept of time is improving, manners and personal space is much better.
Having an in depth conversation and actually obtaining factual information is questionable. I do look forward to this in the future when she can tell us more clearly what happened and how she felt about it. With this, I am not talking about knowing more about her time in China although that would be nice- I am more talking about telling us something she has done or that happened to her that day and what she felt at that time. I often wonder if she tells me something just cause she thinks I want to her that.
She probably doesn't even know how she feels sometimes and is modeling me. She will say one thing and then quickly change her mind depending on my reaction. Sometimes she will pick the same answer as me and other times it will be the opposite.
We use the word adoption/ adopted in our family. It is not an unspoken word. The girls see us prepare for Emma and Ellie and we tell them this is what we did for them. They like to know the efforts we put in to bringing them home. Neither of the girls ask questions about their birth mom. About the woman that cared them inside her for 9 months. I thought Sarah would have feelings, or questions but she does not, at least not yet. I think she may deal with it by not wanting to talk about it and I also think she does not have enough vocabulary to explain it well enough. I mean, yes, we can and have done the basics but I am guessing there will be more in depth questions and discussions as she matures and her language skills improve. With more questions will come more feelings.
I wish more people would adopt. I wish they could see the difference it makes in a child's life. I feel like our two daughters have been transformed into happy, healthy, loved, carefree children. I love to look on blogs and see the transformation with all the other children that have come home to their forever families- it is nothing short of a miracle!
